Thursday, November 12, 2009

Love Lost

An open Dear John Letter to Levi-Strauss, an old love affair.

Dear John, (oh I know your real name is Levi-Strauss 501 but bear with me) there's someone new in my life. I have loved you since I was a small boy. I have never cheated on you, never dated another, never gone without many of your clones in my closet. I love'd you. When I was a kid I'd pick you up at the store, take you home, get together with you (at first you were as stiff as a board and really blue) - but we, together, would climb into my hot-tub of soapy water and get to really know one another. In that tub we'd get to know one another is such intimate ways that I knew you would always be MINE!  

The first time you disappointed me was when I discovered that you had changed your name! Well, not really your name, but the way you signed it, and your stationary was no longer... leather..... but cardboard?! What a loss! But I adapted, I toughed it out and we stayed together. Actually I loved your pre-washed/preshrunk idea and took you home too. Recently, in need of yet another dose of your particular brand of love, I headed off for the Mall. 

What a disappointment! You are, finally and definitely, no longer you! 501s are no longer 501s, you've changed -- again! First I noticed that you are weird looking. Your warp or weave or something, gave your look a "vertical" line running through you. Next your basic fabric seemed, oh, I don't know, maybe I could describe it as "weak." I went ahead though and took you home again - the "original" dark blue color.  

Now it has to be said, one of the reasons I love'd you is that I could do virtually anything while with you..... work on my car or go out for dinner and a movie. Anything. But this time you weren't "right." Your color came off in copious amounts in areas of any abrasion, like the knees, (which is usual but not like this!) and in other less appropriate areas where almost any rubbing removed color and left whitish blotches, and the vertical lines in your fabric are more apparent.  

This past week, having lost a little weight, I decided to revisit you again, so I headed off for Macys. But what a let-down! I found you but your watch pocket was on crooked! I tried another pair and your seam ran down one leg crooked! Yet another pair.... but those I couldn't even button because the button holes were too small! And you all, even your not 501 brethren, all had that ugly "vertical" weave or warp or whatever to the material. I was so bummed.... I'd reached the end of my very long love affair, Acceptance/Tolerance. Love has its limits. I was no longer in love!  

On a trip to Costco I spotted the Kirkland brand jeans. Wow! Only 13 bucks AND made of the genuine article denim I loved. Now they are cut a trifle differently and no button fly, but hey, whats my choice? I bought 2 pair, they fit great and felt good too, Today I'm gonna get two more pair before they too become a cheap date. 
So John, this is good bye. I loved you unstintingly for over 60, yes, sixty! years. But I have a new love in my life. Good bye and good luck.

Cheers, Mel

The following is Levi's response:

From: Levi-MBXLevis <>
Sent: Fri, November 13, 2009 2:03:26 PM
Subject: RE: Your Comment/Question

Hi Melvin,

Celina here from Levi's(r).  Thanks for checking in with us.

We are sorry to hear about your experience.  We take great pride in our company, our products and the loyalty of our consumers.  We take your feedback very seriously and assure you that your comments will be passed along to the appropriate management.

If there's anything else we can help you with, just email us back or give us a call at 
1-800-USA-LEVI.  We're available Monday - Friday, 6:00am - 4:30pm Pacific Time.

Thanks again,

Levi Strauss & Co.
Consumer Relations

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